The Little Ball

A rolling popping little ball came skipping down the stairs,

And shat on the floor while laughing, squealing—

Merrily merrily we fall and get up and smile!

Chanted it with glee. Wonderful wonderful!

There was a snowstorm that day, said the weatherman,

Though of course the ball wouldn’t know it.

And neither did the weatherman, really,

But the homeless guy did, really, and froze his fingers

Right off onto the fresh, soft powder.

Delightful! said the little ball, in response to a TV show.

It’s about some fat people trying to lose weight,

With a really fit woman cheering them on as they

Sweated and loomed over the exercise equipment.

The little ball is green.

The little ball is blue.

The little ball is mean.

The little ball loves you.

In the evening the little ball sang a nursery rhyme

That sounded awfully like Humpty-Dumpty,

Except in the end, all the king’s horses and all the king’s men

Didn’t even try. They laughed. Oh boy oh boy,

Isn’t that so much more wonderful?

The little ball has cancer.

In its liver.

I am an alcoholic, the little ball admits.

One day the little ball went to see a play

About a girl and a boy who ran astray.

There were fairies and dragons and elves along the way,

But the little ball screamed, bullshit! bullshit!

And had to be taken away.

What a lovely day it is! it exclaims.

Today is when God will come down and take me back,

And kill all you miserable fuckers once and for all!